Rhetorical Insanity
by Saduko Leyra
Summary: Help! It hurts! I don't know who it is! Won't somebody help me?


**Rhetorical Insanity**

**I do not own YGO or anything from YGO. I do however own the plot of this fanfiction. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

**

Can you feel my pain?

Did you suffer besidew me

No, can how can you?

Arent there more important things?

Homework and duels

Exams and meals

Fame, Friends, and Fortune?

How can you help?

Wouldn't helping get in the way?

Selfish little brat, aren't ya?

Would you like me to illuminate?

No, not likely, is it?

I'm still going to show you.

Now, hold still, this won't hurt a bit.

Haha, just kiding!

It hurts?

Good!

Oh my!

Are you trying to run?

Sorry Yugi.

I can't let that happen now, can I?

Atem can't save you.

Niether can Bakura.

Oh, are you confused?

Tee-hee!

Let me enlighten you.

Don't you know who I am?

Oh, it is kind of dark in here isn't it?

Oh, well! Hee-hee!

You _still _don't recognize me?

I'll give you one hint.

I'm your friend.

What do you want? A candle?

I think matches would be better.

After all they leave such lovely burns.

Don't you agree?

You _don't _agree?

But matches are so much fun!

Let's see, I have a box here somewhere...

Aha! Here they are!

Whoopsie! I _was_ aiming for your eyebrows, but your nose will have to do.

Don't be such a baby!

After all, it's not as bad as having your own Yami severely injuring you!

You think _I'm _a monster?

You and your pathetic friends are the monsters!

I ran away you know.

You never even noticed!

Bakura noticed.

In fact, he came after me!

He tried to kill me, but now he's the one six feet under!

So is everyone else.

Yes, even your precious Atem! I made sure of it!

You know what else?

You're all alone now.

I'm the only one here.

I'm also your enemy now.

Do you want to know how I did it?

How I killed each of them?

Do you want to know how they begged?

Anzu offered me sex, the little whore!

She cried and pleaded!

You should have seen it!

"You can't do this! Spare me please!"

Ah, it was beautiful.

That bitch had it coming, you know.

Oh, you loved her, didn't you?

You would have taken her offer before it was out of her mouth!

Stop? Now why would I do that?

After all, this is _so_ much more fun!

Your precious pharoah tried to save her, too!

I mean, HELLO! I'm killing someone here! Can't you at least knock?

Now, which one do you like better, your eye or your ear?

Your eye? Now where did I put that strike box?

Ooooh! That had to hurt. Keep going? Certainly!

Anyway, since he'd been so rude, I had to kill him, right?

So I took his puzzle and began slamming it into his cranium!

That mix of blood and brains was a masterpiece!

And the way it oozed into the white carpet! Magically morbid!

Hmm... Should I burn the other eye, the ear, or the mouth?

I should let you go? Where's the fun in that?

When I killed Jonouchi and Honda, it wasn't very fun.

All I had to do was poison those pig's food!

I think I'll burn the mouth now, but then you might swallow my match.

I'll burn your ears first, it just wouldn't do for you to choke.

Killing Shizuka was harder. I actually had to stalk her!

I mean, it's not like I could kill her in public!

Although... that might be fun...

Let's see, Nose eyebrows, forehead, cheeks, eye, ears, now what?

Ryuji had the nerve to die before I killed him, the toad.

I know! Let's burn your clothes!

Why not? After all, I _have_ been nice enough to leave them alone until now.

Hmm... I didn't bother killing Kaiba...

Who am I mssing? Oh yeah, your grandpa!

It was funny! He had a heart attack when he sowme and I left him there!

I love the look on your face!

Go on. Scream Yugi.

We both know you want to.

Aww! I only have one match left!

I guess I _will_ have to light a candle!

I think this one's Latin.

It's called Dyna-mite!

Dyna means to die and Mite means in silence.

Whoops! Gotta go Yugi!

Enjoy the candle and give my regards to the devil!

* * *

**A/N: If you havn't figured out who that was, I don't know what to call you. I hope you liked it, leave a comment!**


End file.
